Yelp: An Argument for Self-Indulgent Writing

For this–my writing here–to matter to someone, it requires an interest both in me and in my story, which are decidedly different. Me in that my voice, my style of writing, would need to be something people would enjoy, and my story, the factual events of my life, would need to be interesting or beautiful or useful somehow. At least this is what I tell myself.

I am trying to believe that wanting to tell a story, and for that story to be the one I hold closest, isn’t bad or wrong. When I look closer, when I really examine why I want to write my story here, I find that it comes at least in part from wanting–that a reader might choose to really understand what I’m saying. That they’ll learn from my mistakes or something. I can’t tell if this is selfish or inspired, but I’d like to say both without judgment. 

I have started to think that there’s no use in debating whether or not this kind of writing is self-indulgent, because we are going to do it anyway. I’m aware that we–at least many of us–leave some version of our stories for people to find on social media. A tweet or post of the perfect thought or moment looks a lot like storytelling. For several reasons, I really don’t care to write about this. Social media posting feels less authentic–it can be so fucking postural. I do it, don’t get me wrong. There’s value, I just don’t want to write about it.

There are other platforms out there where storytelling happens too. 

Listen, I really do believe that to write about life is necessarily to write about our lives. Further, to write about a place is necessarily to write about our experience of that place. So really, when we leave reviews on Yelp or Google, we are leaving our story for people to find. We are constantly telling our story, and I don’t think this is self-indulgent. I just think it’s true.

I went looking for examples of Yelp reviews. I wanted a cross section of the platform–five stars and one star reviews–mediocre experiences–all of it. What I found was that people on this platform are, for the most part, deeply sincere. Whether that result is some top tier wholesomeness, or a scathing letter to the hostess, the writing is genuine. That counts for something. 

I write here to you, dear reader, because it feels good to get the words out. I want to share my experiences–for them to be helpful. Is this narcissistic? I don’t know. I just really don’t want anyone to put themselves through what I’ve put my body through. I don’t want anyone to starve because they don’t feel capable of being in the world. I want to give a voice to that fear, and to quell it somehow. But of course it isn’t all selfless. I’m talking to myself too–getting the anger and fear and realizations out so I can look at them. Sometimes they look like shit, but at least they’re there.

I think this is what Yelp does too. It is trying to be helpful–and sometimes it is. Regardless though, it is always for us, the writers. 

We tend to tell our stories because we want to change something. It could be the attitude of the hostess, one person’s perception of their body, our own emotional state, or a combination. 

Dear reader, I hope this is useful. If not, feel free to scroll to the next. Someone else is already telling their story too.