Thoughts From a New Floor

I’m angry, dear reader. I’m fucking mad. I’m pissed off and it’s really just such a drag. 

I spend an insane amount of time repressing anger–it doesn’t do me any good and usually I can empathize enough to let go of it. But today, oh today. I am pissed off. 

I’ve been fuming at my ceiling for a good hour now. I got home from work, took off all my clothes, and laid on my back to be angry. It’s a horrible feeling, and I really just want it to stop. 

Anger is the most confusing symptom of depression to me. It is also my least favorite. fucking worst. I hate feeling anger, especially when the source is hazy. 

I’m mad at myself, which makes it all the more fun to lay here on fire. 

But, you know what I’d like to do dear, sweet reader, whom I could never be angry at? Unload some of these here twitter drafts in the hopes that thrusting some words into the ether might help me feel lighter.

Here you go. 

–

me staring at tv: this is so dramatic they’re just staring at stuff and emoting

who am I to ask for stuff when look. there’s stuff right here.

“your life is so exciting” it is literally not I’m just good at talking about it

I am not hardwired for anything those wires are flailing about  

the message said “enjoy your meal” when my cigarettes were delivered

hello thank you for calling jcrew factory, I am jonesing how can I help you 

the least realistic part of that movie is someone named a baby Kevin

I’ve had imaginary beef with an indie pop sensation for a while now

I’ve really lost my taste for this virus

I wanna be one o them inspirational poetry accounts but I can’t seem to stop being horny online

I saw Hinder by accident once and it didn’t feel good

just said “pull-quote” and threw up a lil

Jesus Christ he’s Hot

bb stands for buddy boy

I haven’t had the opportunity to say “wanna see the weird thing I can do with my arms” in so long this is probably for the best

just saw a video of deadheads dancing in social distance and decided to go back to bed

no quit in her

cooking obscenely garlicky meals without remorse is a plus

It’s really lovely that I intended to mail my favorite peanut butter to someone then ate it all. It was really tasty and I don’t think they’d mind.  

I accidentally sent “choke me” joke to acquaintance instead of best friend and now I have one less acquaintance.

I cry before therapy so as not to pay to give performance art. 

just because you come in here with your Birkenstocks and your phish t shirt

I will absolutely sacrifice prep time to make a dick out of chess pieces

–

That’s enough for now, my lovely reader. I feel better. 

Take good care. Stay warm. Call a friend.

I love you tons.