I think a lot about going home, dear reader. Not because I want to, but because my family is there. The family that raised me, and the family that has seen me dying.
I hate that time is passing. I hate that days, months–a year has passed since I’ve seen my sister. I hate that I haven’t seen my sister in a year.
I am very afraid of lost time, and I have years of it. I feel both stunted and ancient, which is fucking weird, man.
I’m older now than I was when this all started. That’s cool, and confusing.
We’ve grown in ways that we don’t know how to measure yet. We’ve grown with compassion, maybe, and with grief. We’ve grown tired and we’ve grown older–this is how it goes. This is how it goes.
I think about going home a lot, dear reader. And I think about the people I miss.
I’ve written about it.
Read if you want to. As always, this is to borrow, or to keep.
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There’s something very sweet about coordinates
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I think it’s their exactness
Having spent no time at all deciding
where they stood they
fall immediately to a single point, bound
To all the others just the same.
I think it’s their fracture having
broken to their own, they show
Location in relation to a center
which they’ll never meet I think
it’s their sincerity.
Map making and time telling both old habits made
sacred by numbers that have outlived them.
I think it’s their boundaries. How long
How far if only so much
without falling to the next
I think its their frivolity–they’re funny really
Names for temporary hills
Who may stay still crack open.
Widen.
I think its their place
In all this
Silly and sturdy
Needed for flight paths
And some kind of sweetness
To which we point and say here
Look here
This is the place where I came from
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I love you so much
take care.
