There are things I do not do, dear reader, and there are things I do not do well. This venn diagram was more a circle for the majority of my anxious, self-critical young adulthood. Just fuckin not doing stuff I couldn’t do REALLY well.
This way of life left me with very few hobbies–I just wouldn’t do anything that didn’t come naturally and immediately. So, when I wasn’t studying obsessively, starving myself, flirting, writing really obscure metaphors, or doing winged eyeliner, I wasn’t doing much of anything. Oh, maybe getting drunk and fucking myself. I did that a bunch.
That reminds me that there is also a collection of activities that I am very good at that I try my best not to do. Disappointing my parents, blacking out, stealing cereal from my roommates. These are more shameful and less indicative of personal growth–we won’t focus here. it’s just sad.
Now, not doing stuff I wasn’t immediately good at, but then trying it and loving it. That’s a wholesome topic.
So, sucking dick.
I was truly afraid of not sucking dick like a pornstar. Thank God I got over this, honestly. Plus, those women are all goddesses and God fucking bless them–they give angles super condusive to learning, and we should all aim for this level of selfless skill-sharing. Zero sarcasm.
And so the butterfly spread her wings, and sucked some dick. (Dear God I hope nobody in my family reads this. Maybe don’t read this blog anymore if I’ve ever seen you on Thanksgiving.)
I picked up the ukulele at 22 and Jesus Christ a year later I’m still just so bad. But I love it, and I do it every day.
I’m teaching myself chess at 23 and have lost 13 consecutive online games. I loved every second.
I’m trying to be friends with women my own age! Horrible, just really really bad at this. But! I did manage to find my sweet bean of a best friend this way. Though we were terrified of each other for the first month of our acquaintanceship, we now sit on the floor and cry together.
I allow people to like my body. Ooooooof this one is TOUGH. But! I do it and it feels, um, really really nice.
Karaoke. Bad. No good very not good bad at this one. So damn fun though–especially if you suck. NOBODY wants a musical theatre major up there. That’s just such a bummer for everyone and the root cause of karaoke-bar blackouts.
Baking. I’m still pretty bad at this, but I used to be much worse. I love it even when I burn shit or it tastes like rubber. Cause fuck all look I made a lil loaf! So cute.
Communicating without being too emotionally honest. Still bad at this, but getting better. This one’s just a growing up thing. Also counterintuitive to the way I communicate via my writing.
Phone calls to people who haven’t seen me naked.
Ordering in other languages at restaurants.
Drinking Gin.
Doing bits at parties.
The circle is now a venn diagram and life is a heck of a lot more interesting.
Do this if you can, dear reader. DO IT AND YOU’RE COOL.
Love you bigtime.
Girl Seeking Peanut Butter 