“Am I Dressed Like A Prostitute?” And Other Stupid Questions

There is no time to be insecure.

I am infuriated at the amount of time I have spent questioning what I should and should not say, do, or wear. I’m pissed that I used to spend even a fraction of my time trying to be a pleasant, palatable girl.

Pleasant to look at, pleasant to speak to.

There is too much at stake right now to waste any time at all filtering ourselves to fit an image of what we think is most appealing.

I get so angry when I think about the vanity that is dumped on all of us. We are expected to be sentient perfection–appearing beautiful, asking for nothing. Spending hours at the gym, or meal prepping a vegan lunch that requires a grocery list the length of my arm.

I am livid that for years, the need to be palatable was ingrained in me. It was so fucking boring. Who wants to wear Forever 21 rompers and nod politely?

I think it’s so cool to love what you love, and to do so loudly. Editing yourself is such a chore, and we have better things to do.

I cut shirts from Goodwill. I wear knee high boots and a dopey grin.

I got a tattoo of a tree with my best friend just because she loves them.

I moved across the country to a city I’d never been to, into an apartment I’d never seen.

I’ve taken three medical leaves and transferred twice. In January I’ll be starting at The Jack Kerouac School of Disembodied Poetics.

These decisions have been loud and messy and painful.

Being honest–being loud–is hard as hell, but it’s the most fun I’ve ever had. There’s really no more time for nodding politely.

I’ve learned over and over the past few years that saying what is true is infinitely more  important than my palatability. Every time I don’t act honestly is a massive waste of time.

Do what you love and talk about it loudly.

If someone is wrong, tell them why.

You don’t have to ask your friend if you look like a prostitute before you go out. Just wear what feels good.

Wear whatever the hell you want–it’s so much more fun.

I love you, dear reader. Be strong.